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Two Predictions

Skin Suits

It is likely that this event will occur around the year 3000. We’ll be able to step into some kind of full-body suit and become anyone we want. First, the options are limited to male, females, black and white. Then they’ll become more advanced. They’ll be more advanced than we. Use this site, but our grandkids’ grandkids to the tenth degree, will be able to choose specific ethnicities and hair colors. You might even be able to choose bone and muscle structure.

These suits could look like huge, puffy space suits. They can also stand by themselves, much in the same way as an accordion. And when you step into it, you pull it over your head then zip it down, and the zipper lives somewhere near the perineum—or taint. Once you’re done, pull the little cord at the end of the sleeve to secure the garment around your waist. You could call them Morphsuits. They were my dream item. I wonder what that says about me… And what it says about marketing. A eleven-year-old boy would be willing to pay money for the ability to disappear. Although I didn’t know much about money, I was willing to pay for one of these shiny suits. I still don’t know the first thing about money.

Obviously, there will be some defective suits that go out, where an eye’s by the chin or on an antenna, or there are mad air bubbles in your skin, but some people will like them anyway and continue to wear them, and those who don’t will donate them and they’ll end up in third-world countries, with a bunch of far-out individuals walking around.

Telephone Pills

This one might be common knowledge, but pretty soon we’re going to get tired of carrying, dropping, and losing our phones, so some genius will come up with the idea to turn them into pills. Once a month, you take the pill and your contact information, apps, and other data will be transferred to your brain. it will travel through your bloodstream to upload into your brain. You’ll be able to go on the internet, take pictures through your eyeballs, Shazam songs by listening to them. I doubt Shazam will be around then, but if it is, hey, more power to ’em.

However, all of us will still be extremely smart, but we’ll also have hundreds of thousands of pages full of incorrect information. It could happen in one of two directions. Reality could remain the same as it is right now: it can be cordial, interactive and funny; or, it could end up with all of us locked in our rooms in our bedrooms or living rooms. We have no interest whatsoever in the world outside. All major cities have rooms that are in disarray. No one really goes outside unless you have to to buy more pills or… What am I thinking? Obviously, somebody will invent the World’s First Digital Pill.

It could even be fun. I don’t know. Maybe we’re less self-conscious because we can access all of the information in the world. And maybe knowing everything would lead to a more confident, flirtatious self, and now everyone’s at the farmers’ market making out.

Two Predictions was originally published on Chronic News.